The Troubles with Rants and Raves: A Chat about Internet Etiquette...

I just want to start off by saying, the picture above is so true? The truth hurts! We see it every day; more so on social media. Anyhow, let's get started! Now, before you all ask, I AM NOT going to post the video that started this whole.... well, you can call it a rant aimed towards social groups; and their lack of etiquette. It wouldn't kill you to be nice once in a while, even when faced with ugly situations; but for some, it would seem impossible. We've all been faced with a situation where we've posted something we thought was funny, or helpful; and it's bitten us in the butt. Whether we were wrong or not, being called out is no fun, and for some, depending on the situation, can be quiet embarrassing and downright hurtful depending on how and who is doing the calling out. But that's what we have admins for, right? They are there to monitor and patrol said posts by visitors, and most do an excellent job. There are those though, who will jump right in when they see something and explode. They have no time, nor do they, in most cases, even care to think about said post. They saw it, they didn't like it, they got nasty. It happens everywhere. Facebook, Twitter, Messenger.... the list goes on. Wherever you have a mass collecting of people, you will have differences in opinion. If you created said place for people to hang around and chat, you have to know it's coming. You created a place for people to mingle. Not everyone is the same. There will be conflict. How you handle that conflict, is what counts. It's called Etiquette, people should learn about it. It could come in handy. If someone has posted in your group, and you don't like it, delete it and PRIVATE MESSAGE the poster. If you think the post is going to cause problems, adding to said post by commenting something sassy, is only adding to the problem. Yes, groups have rules, but with constant updates and the flow of posts throughout the group, these things get lost. You pinned it, awesome. Did you also send out a reminder that you've updated the pinned post? No, so how would people know you've updated? Did you take that into consideration before you called them out? So, someone posted a promo in the wrong place, a simple reminder would be nice. Having someone call you out for a mistake in front of people, in a snarky manner, isn't cool. It doesn't make you cool; it makes you an ass. Now, there are those who don't follow the rules at all. Repeat offenders are the most annoying people on social media groups. They have no care for others or their rules, and post whatever, whenever. These people can be dealt with, by clicking a block/remove button. Commenting under their post about how childish/disturbing/disgusting/whatever they are, only adds to the problem. I'm not just talking about Admins, I'm talking about everyone, moderators too. Some do a wicked job reporting issues; others, are better at creating an even bigger issue. You'll find them in EVERY group/page on EVERY social media platform; and I just so happened to come across a couple today and wanted to share as an example. ****PLEASE NOTE**** All names and identifying remarks have been removed. I'm not calling anyone out, I'm just saying this stuff happens and it sucks: but it can be avoided.

Anyhow, on with the story.... I was part of a social group dedicated to rants and raves. You had an awesome time at the salon, post it as a rave. Some employee treated you badly, post a rant. Everyone has a rant or a rave, and everyone loves to have someone to share their rants and raves with; but, where there are mass groups of people, there is always conflict. Someone disagrees with a post or an opinion, they reply. That's what the comment box is there for. It happens all the time. Everyone always an opinion, and they're not always gonna be the same, like I said above, it's how one handles these differences of opinion that matters. So, my morning started by flipping through my social media wall, and I came across a video someone had shared. I watched a bit of it (I'll admit, it was really pathetic to watch, but it related to something that others had already been discussing for weeks) and posted it to the group. It was a video of a person who is known among the group as per previous posts, being confronted about an issue. I watched a bit of it (My bad, I should have watched it all before posting!) It was a shaming video! Well, in my opinion, when you want to publicly shame someone, it's usually for a good reason; and this was a good reason. This individual had been panhandling for serious amounts of money, always changing locations and messages on their sign, but when confronted about it, they hid behind their face behind their sign... (That's as far as a saw...) Now, as I said, usually a public shaming, has reason. The police will release a notice about repeat offenders, to WARN THE PUBLIC about said individual. Photos, name, the whole nine yards. It's a public safety announcement. Local shops will post photos of known thieves all about, to warn the public. Well, I posted in the group, to warn said people that the individual was still at it, and to be aware. In my opinion, it was a public service announcement; apparently, others thought otherwise. Picture one, is my post, and below, the first comment I got. Not even five minutes, and someone was snarking on me for my P.S.A. My post was then deleted.

Okay, so maybe I didn't get the latest rule update, but this person just called me out on my P.S.A, for publicly shaming the individual (Which is not allowed in the group apparently. Oops, my bad.) except, they have posted, in a group with over 5000 members, SHAMING ME???? I thought that wasn't allowed? Regardless, I tried to reply but my post was deleted. All of that ^^^ and what is to come, could have been avoided if they had deleted the post without commenting, and sent me a private/direct message with a simple reminder. But, carrying on..... I, private messaged an admin, reported what had happened, with screen shots... and this was the reply...

Now, I admitted that I'd goofed, and I did go find the rules and read them. Low and behold, no shaming. Okay, fair enough; but that could have been addressed in a PM. Again, etiquette = no blowing up the situation. Also, I didn't watch the whole video, and what I did see, the individual covered their face with their poster; and looked way too well dressed to be constantly needing handouts. I just didn't want anyone to fall for the games. I don't like games! So, no shaming then. Got it! But, someone might want to remind the commenters of that....

I tried to explain myself... why I had posted and what had happened after, which was supposed to be against their rules. Again, their response was, if I hadn't posted it, it wouldn't have been commented on. To which, I could have replied... "Well, if you hadn't created a group in which the main purpose was to rant and rave FOR THE PUBLIC.... I would not have posted, for the public!" But I didn't. After being told they had other things to do, I asked if they would delete me from the group when they were done, I even said please. This, was their reply....

I was told to delete my self, and that it was easy. This, is an admin talking. In fact, I'm told, that they created said group! Ummm, okay, and moving on..... I was told they were not into games, and that it wasn't going to work on them. Which games would that be? I'm confused. I mentioned earlier, I don't like games. I don't play games. I told them this, gave one final explanation, deleted myself from the group and blocked the admin. Now, you think it would stop there, right? WRONG! You see, the trouble with having mass groups of people, despite being amazing to connect with like minds, is that not all are like minded, and the like minded come in groups of their own. I know I'll probably hear about this, in some way shape or form, my book sales might drop, I'll get some situation based, bad reviews.... there are 5000 + potential haters in that group; or not. Who knows, but I had to say something. So here it is, I thought my crappy morning had ended, but it didn't. I had said my peace and walked away, blocking said admin and cutting my losses with the group; but ten minutes later, I had another message; about said issue I thought was over. You see, these like minded people, in these mass groups, stick together. So I now had a 'friend and fellow admin' of the previous admin contacting me. Remember, I've already left their group....

Apparently, I made some enemies. First of all... How would I know all the rules, if I hadn't read all the updates? They made it very clear to people? Then why was I, unaware? And regarding my comment, really? I posted, and was called out in a comment below said post, in a group of over 5000 people... which was then deleted. Their first words, were "SHAME ON YOU......" Don't seriously me, I walked away and tried to prevent this argument, and now I'm supposed to act like an idiot, and say she didn't shame me? So, not only have I been publicly shamed in a comment that all these people can see, for publicly shaming someone else; now I'm a liar too? Second, I am me. I will block whoever I see fit. I don't need people like the both of them crowding my space and popping my bubble with their shenanigans. And furthermore, as I explain in the next pic, I was no longer part of their group. They, were no longer my admins. So again, why were they contacting me, and reminding me of their rules, when I had DELETED MYSELF from the group, and BLOCKED them? Really, people? I know I'm a writer, but I couldn't make this up if I tried. Anyhow, they didn't get it....

I was done. They, were not!

Saying 'shame on you' is not public shaming, unless it's said in a comment, beneath a post, for all those members to see...... BEFORE, they deleted it. So how many of them saw that person call me out, publicly, before it disappeared? And they didn't have to use my name, it was the first, and only comment, beneath my post. Who else was it directed towards? And the wrong that commenter committed, was contradicting themselves. They say they were asked to PM me. Why couldn't I have been PM'd in the beginning? Could have avoided all this with one message! Blocking someone is rude, well, so is approaching someone you don't know, to get in on a conflict that didn't concern them. Because they were asked to? What if I had been asked to post that video? Didn't make it right, did it? So, why are they reaming me out for doing what you are doing right now?

Now this part, kills me! They 'usually' just remove the disliked posts..... Well, you didn't this time, you caused a fuss; and congratulations, you have lives. (Okay, my sarcasm is taking over here! My mind is too far blown to keep it at bay, so bear with me!) Yes, people have lives. They live them; that's what we do. I'm happy they are living theirs and don't have time to babysit all their member; but can I just point out, I didn't mean that they should have PM'd me before they deleted it, I was referring to the comment on my post, and how it could have been a PM! But whatever, we're beyond the point where I feel the need to explain myself to them. They go on to say that their members are supposed to be fully capable of checking the rules. Yes they are, when we know they've been updated, and when you update all the time, it gets confusing without reminders; that could have been sent as a PM!!!! See, where I'm going with this????? Anyone???? Here's a thought, if they're having trouble with members and posts, why not have all posts approved by an admin before they're posted? And finally, the part about having lives and no time and well, all the rest of what was said; don't even go there. These people made a group for a load of other people to join, a group dedicated to ranting and raving. They made rules, they expected people to follow them. People didn't; so they enlisted moderators. IT IS NOT MY JOB, to remind their moderators of internet etiquette, it's theirs. So when they get all bent out of shape over a post, and cause a scene, they should remember, that as an admin, they should have trained them better.

Well, in the end, I guess I got my reminder of the rules, in stereo, and thanked them for it too; even though I wasn't in their group anymore. It was the nice thing to do. Would have been easier with a simple private message though, because now, everyone gets to read my rant; on my blog, about MY opinion on internet etiquette, and in some cases, the lack there of. Everyone has an opinion, and educated or not, everyone wants to share it. The key, is knowing when, where, and how to use your opinion. In my opinion, I was sharing a public service announcement..... in theirs, I'm a nasty, shameful woman; and I can only imagine what sort of shaming is happening in that group right now, since I'm not there to see it. I hope they're not still breaking their own rules. So whether you're managing your own social group, helping a friend with theirs, or just visiting, just remember this post and that etiquette will get your more than a snark ass attitude ever could. Be smart people, it can happen anywhere, at anytime. Be prepared, and have fun; nicely. Happy Reading!!